Why the hell cant i seem to believe in myself?! Wait heres another question. Why do i always ask questions about myself that i already know the answer to? I know why i cant seem to believe in myself. Its actually a 2 part answer. The first reason is that people have always put me down. Even when I was little. They would always say stupid stuff. So that always knocked my confidence down. Then heres the worst and 2nd part. Whenever I tried to have high self esteem, people, mainly adults, would always say I shouldnt have confidence in the stuff that i thought i was good at. Like, i was good at writing. When my teacher asked me what I wanted to do when i grew up (this was like in 5th grade. before i found how great music was) I said i wanted to be a writer because I was good at it. My teacher looked at me and said "dont think to highly of yourself. Your writing is sub-par...at best." So i thought that I realy wasnt that good at anything and that Im not realy that good of a person in general. When my parents said I was, i would just think, "oh thats my mom. she has to say that stuff." When I got older i started hanging with people some of them came to me and said "wow your realy kool" or "your a realy nice person" but due to past experiences of people filling me with false confidence, i had a hard time believing them. Recently two people came to me and said that I need to have more confidence in myself (one of whom happens to be the girl that i love). They both explained why i need to have confidence and with this new information i think its time for a change. Its gonna be a long, hard process, but ill get there...
P.S. G-Baby, I know exactly what your gonna say about the last sentence. keep your mind outta the gutter
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haha... i'm honestly not sure if i was ganna think that, though i probably would have. i sorta cheated--looked at the P.S. before i finished the paragraph xD i'm not good at reading things straight through--i usually skip around.
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